Jun 25, 2012
the whole idea of college has been somewhat of a fantasy in my brain ever since i can remember.
i remember thinking at the begining of senior year of all the things that it would bring. independence. experience. trials. a fresh start. freedom. maybe a little love...mainly happiness though. and maybe it will bring all of those things.
but now that college is slowly rising on my horizon, my hands are shaking. because i am propelling myself into a total different environment. away from anyone or anything that is familiar.
certain people in my life have always been a huge blessing, but also a curse. the thought of starting fresh always thrilled me on the nights that seemed to last forever. but now it's my reality, and i'm rarely gonna see those people anymore.
familiarity and friends are my home, and i'm soon gonna be homeless, lost, and confused.
when i prayed about my decision to do this, it felt right. but that was so long ago. and now i'm wondering if maybe my revelation expiration date has expired.
and the very people who made me so excited about this and gave me new hope in my heart are leaving for two years...one of them in particular. plus things have shifted a little bit since then, whether i like that or not.
and for the first time in a while, i feel completely alone tonight.